Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
