there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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