I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize