Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She bit a glass in half.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
