so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
