I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
