Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Randomize
