I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
