chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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