I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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