party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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