is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
