where am i from again
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
