The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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