you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
