First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
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