My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
