He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
