What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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