I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
North Korea, Best Korea!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
