Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
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