Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
