The best revenge is premature balding
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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