and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Randomize
