I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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