We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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