Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
