can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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