I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
