I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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