Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
