dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I will die if light touches me.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
