i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
