I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
