I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
