I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I want a musical about memes.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
