he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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