I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
