I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
