Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
