Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
