I am puke
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
