Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
