Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
