i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
