i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
North Korea, Best Korea!
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
