I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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