He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
