I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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