I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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