literally had 100 drinks last night.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
