She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
