I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
A bitchslap is in order.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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