Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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