yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
