If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i believe in u and ur pee
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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