I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
