Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
