were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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