I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
