Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
