You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
