I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
