threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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