I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
