I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
