dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
